Desintegration of Yugoslavia: the return

February 17th 2008 – The Serbian province of Kosovo seceded from Belgrade over a week ago. Kosovo had been a UN protectorate since 1999 when Bill Clinton sent NATO to bombard Slobodan Milosevic and the Yugoslav army (APY) out of the province. Being ethnically 90% Albanian, the Kosovars and their President Thaci seem delighted to become the 194th country on the planet.

Now for some rain; I have always been a strong proponent of People’s right to dispose of themselves. Unfortunately, there are two obstacles that prevent me from calling this dash for independence “national self-determination”.

Firstly, without wanting to anger the Kosovars, they do not seem to fit the definition of a nation. 90% of the inhabitants identify themselves as Albanian and anti-Serbian. A number of them even demand unification into a "Great Albania". Furthermore, the 10% or so of Serbian Kosovars identify themselves as Serbian and have set fire to anything American, Albanian or European in the last week and a half. They would not only like to remain in Kosovo but also still believe in Milosevic’s “Great Serbia” program that would have united all Serbs from Macedonia, Bosnia, Croatia and Montenegro into one Nation-State. I state my point that Kosovo is not a nation-state but rather two nationalities forced to live within arbitrary borders (imposed by the Ottoman Empire centuries ago) and hell-bent on hating each-other.

Secondly, national self-determination involves the sovereignty of the people BY the people. Being very far from a direct democracy, I believe President Thaci was not justified in declaring this independence unilaterally. That’s right, no referendum, Thaci only counted that 90% of his province was Albanian and then told the world that at least 90% of Kosovars wanted independence. It’s funny; he says AT LEAST 90% because he doesn’t discount the possibility that some Serbian Kosovars might want their own country yet there is no room for the hypothesis that one or two Albanian Kosovars might not want secession.

Nevertheless, Kosovo is now independent, being officially recognised by some major world powers (USA, Germany, UK, France, Turkey). I must also mention that many major powers have refused to do so (Canada, Spain, Russia, China). This division is even more pronounced in countries with Serbian populations. The American embassy in Belgrade was basically burnt to the ground. Protests in Banja Luka, Bosnia have reunited massive amounts of Serbs (up to 100,000) against the Kosovars. All border posts around the Serbian provinces of Kosovo have been destroyed.

Thaci has, of course, assured Serbian Kosovars that this new country would not be one of discrimination but rather of equality for all "Kosovars''. I truly believe him yet the Serbian Kosovars remember that Croats, Slovenians, Macedonians, Montenegrins and Muslims were told the same thing for fifty years as the dominant Serbian population monopolised all political institutions in Yugoslavia and went on an exodus of ethnic cleansing in the 1990s. My point is that the Serbs can’t believe Thaci because if it was them, they would make sure to get rid of that pesky 10% of foreigners.

The European Union and NATO are trying their darndest to prevent such a situation of human rights violations to occur again in the Balkans by sending in a peace force and by offering “fast-track” clauses to include Serbia into the EU much before they should be. Needless to say, Belgrade has denounced the peace force, affirming that Kosovo's secession is illegal and if NATO troops enter the province, they are aggressively and illegally entering Serbia. As for the bribes by the EU, Serbia is now riddled with burning flags of the European Union.

Just as with the relations between Serbs and Croats, time is the only helpful factor in the equation between Serbs and the new Kosovo. All the western world can do for now is try to prevent a genocide while both parties have time to cool down.

(Pictured: Some Bosnian civilians dumped in a mass grave during the 1995 Srebrenica massacre - The new Kosovar flag...not very inspiring)

End.

Too salty?

Friday, February 15th 2008 – NASA has announced that unfortunately, the Martian planet has been ‘too salty’ to support life throughout its existence. This horrible revelation is elaborated by Dr. Andrew Knoll, a member of the Mars rover team. He suggests that "It was really salty - in fact, it was salty enough that only a handful of known terrestrial organisms would have a ghost of a chance of surviving there when conditions were at their best,". Fascinating stuff. This news effectively tightens the noose around the ‘life on Mars’ theory. It is indeed a dark day for mankind.

Please don’t get me wrong, I am a huge fan of our space exploration endeavours and have been a Trekkie for quite some time. The cynical tone emanating from my fingers simply comes from the fact that, just as much of the world news services during the past few weeks, I am suffocating in a sea of trivial news. Granted, ol’ Vlad Putin declaring a new arms race this week is certainly newsworthy yet it has the same entertainment value as a David Vs. Goliath taunting match…. Make that a David Vs. the Borg taunting match. There are also some celebrity mishaps, Kenyan guerilla warfare and the never-ending Obama Vs. Clinton boxing match (``I deplore him/her and his/her methods; my opponent is weak and untrustworthy…and in a few months when the Republicans are the enemy I will shout slogans about unity and togetherness). I long for the days of Neil Armstrong on the moon in 1969, the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1962, the erection of the Berlin Wall in 1961, the Warsaw worker’s uprising in 1980, the Hungarian revolution of 1956, the Watergate scandal of 1974 … fine! I wasn’t actually born yet when all these events occurred yet I find it unfair that I seem to be fascinated by them 1000% more than the people that actually lived through them. But I digress…

The United States and world contributors to the National Aeronautics and Space Administration have pumped over a trillion dollars into this Mars exploration. Some billion dollar rovers have actually made it to the planet and have given us breathtaking pictures of a barren wasteland (‘But it’s red! How exotic!’). Also, many billion dollar rovers have been shot into space and never heard from again, I can’t imagine how much time it would actually take to literally burn all that money. I am sure NASA could give me a grand speech about the compulsion and infinite rewards of human exploration in space yet I can’t see them showing much for the amount of resources we give them. It almost seems as though they realize our nonchalance and doubt about these Mars missions and thus they force themselves to release a random statement every few months ‘Mars is too salty’, simply fantastic.

For once, I will actually suggest something useful. If we want to discover a parallel to the earthly development of life in our solar system, we should spend more of our resources on Europa, an ice-covered moon of Jupiter. For random exploration, we could easily find an infinite amount of highly valuable materials in the asteroid belt past Mars. For kicks, we could actually try building a functional, long-term and TRULY international space station in orbit. You may think I am being wishful but my study of the 1960s space race has taught me that we can aspire to unbelievable goals if given enough money and motivation to ‘one-up’ someone else. Otherwise, we will turn on our TVs to hear scientists claim the amazing discovery of relatively useless things.

Have a pleasant week back on earth and please stay away from things that are too salty.
.

(Pictured: Buzz Aldrin walks the moon - The salty red planet)

End.

Varia

February 2nd 2007 - It's not that NOTHING is happening in the news. It's just that none of it seems important enough to warrant my prestigious attention. Furthermore, certain topics have been overused to a level rivaling perversion therefore I will gladly dedicate this blog post to worldwide media and their everlasting quest to devour every trivial piece of information available.

As you may or may not have heard, Australian actor Heath Ledger died. Considering he made few movies and not much else, I heavily question the overexposure of his death. Past the point of questioning, I denounce the endless interviews with the 79 last people he spoke to, or who spoke to him, or who served him fast food, or who saw him while at a bus stop. Finally I abhor and smirk at the pseudo-social surveys popping up in local journals across North America following the actor's death. Did we need Heath Ledger to die to promote surveys and investigations about medication abuse, teen suicide rates, clinical depression...? No! We much less needed to be asked those stupid rhetorical questions the media use to link their pop news with society right before a commercial (Could his death have been prevented? Does the lure of success place too much pressure on our youth? Was Heath Ledger's apparent suicide a strong protest about the commercialization of the Superbowl?). A similar media blitz surrounded the deaths of Brandon Lee and River Phoenix in the 1990s. They were also very young actors who had a promising, budding career before they accidentally died and subsequently were deified to the point that, had they lived, they would have surely been the next Peter O'Toole and Marlon Brando. All in all, as I mentioned in a past blog (Aren't dead people so freaking great!), any media reconstruction of these people’s lives at this point only serves their own interest. Let the dead rest in peace for the love of Ogd (is this typo intentional? We'll find out! Right after this...)

Moving on to some crucial breaking news about Britney Spears and her hair and children...something about an ambulance...Vaseline...Botswana...a small ferret. Sorry about that, I find her life so depressing and uninteresting in a world where there have literally been millions of people whose lives were more interesting that I can't even convince myself to write a cynical comment about it. I am blaming this rambling Spears storyline on you, the reader, because no self-respecting medium could spend 6 months covering this if there wasn't a rabid fan base to satisfy. Moving on.

Today, French president Nicolas Sarkozy got married to fashion model/singer (a professional denomination requiring no less than 2 Ph.D.s) Carla Bruni. He quickly married her one month or so after meeting her and leaving his former wife. This useless bit of news is my favorite in recent weeks. The simple reason is that the controversy surrounding this story is entirely foreign to France. American and British media have closely monitored the situation and have added it to every major broadcast in their respective countries while no French channel of newspaper would diffuse it. Why, you ask? A cover-up, you suggest? Never heard of these people, you think? THEY ARE SIMPLY NOT INTERESTED. The French are currently making more news with the fact that the USA is so interested in this slice of trivia than with the affair itself. I am only curious about how the president got married without divorcing the first one (perhaps Henry VIII was correct when he described the French as syphilitic, sex-crazed polygamist (OK I made that up)).
Similarly and in the same country, an Associated Press (USA) reporter once asked ex-French president Jacques Chirac about his alleged extra-marital affair during a press conference. With his trademarked air of dignity and childish nonchalance, Chirac responded with 'et alors?' (So?). At this point, the French journalists laughed to the point of tears, the American reporter was very confused and the French Press had a field day with the event rather than with the affair. Public People's private lives are a) private and b) not necessarily more interesting than any one else's.

In conclusion, everyone has a fetish (with varying degrees) in regards to the public sphere and its private backstage. I personally like studying all constitutional and judicial policy coming out of the Kremlin since Putin's 1999 election (Don't judge me, it's not zoophilia or anything.). Some people take slow walks in their neighbourhood to look through people's windows. Some people like watching a non-stop cavalcade of celebrity TV until they think Mary Heart is their close friend. A liberal hippy would tell you that it's not right to judge but beware; I will cruelly judge any reader who tends towards excessive indulgence of his/her fetish.

(Don't bother; I close my blinds during the day)

End.

.

(Pictured: A young Queen Elisabeth II who will lose all actual power and be relegated to a figment of the people's voyeurism - Vladimir Putin plays peek-a-boo at the European Union)