Don't kidnap my dog! Take my kids instead.

Monday December 24th, 2007 – Once again, Vladimir Putin, President of the Russian federation, has given me material for a blog. Russia announced that they will compete with the United-States GPS and the European Galileo satellite systems with their very own Glonass system of 24 satellites by 2009. Putin then exclaimed he will tag his pet Labrador ‘Connie’ so that he will be able to find her by satellite no matter where it is. The butcher of Grozny seems to have a soft spot for his dog who attends top-level many presidential meetings.

I was simply amazed that this impromptu piece of news was on the BBC News main page for 4 days. The ‘news’ only contains a few quotes and a small description of the satellite program. It seems as though the BBC News folks are as fascinated by Vlad as I am. I also find it amazing that he holds the dog with such esteem yet we have NEVER heard about his wife of 25 or about his two daughters.

For once, Putin is not so unique in his eccentricities; many heads of state have affectionately paraded their pets in the public eye. Some have treated these pets with love whilst butchering human lives. To this day, some people remember the pets more than the spouses or children of these leaders.

Using a backwards chronology, here are some fine examples of ‘royal’ pets.

William Jefferson Clinton AKA ‘Slick Willy’ was United-States President for 8 years (1992-2000). If it weren’t for his boyish grin and his misplaced cigars, we would probably remember his pet cat ‘socks’ a little more. Socks spent the presidential terms touring hospitals, retirement homes and schools as a ‘good will’ ambassador. An official investigation was also launched into the use of government resources to answer the cat’s fan mail.

Elizabeth Alexandra Mary of Windsor AKA ‘HRH Elizabeth II’ is the currently ‘of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith’ (1952-today). She owns 4 Pembroke Corgi dogs. They are truly ‘royal’ dogs in that they are as pampered as the Queen herself. As it were, they are constantly ‘hounded’ by the media (horrible, horrible pun).

Franklin Delano Roosevelt AKA ‘FDR’ was United-States President for a whopping 13 years (1932-1945). His legendary Scottish terrier, ‘Fala’, has been immortalized along with his master as a bronze statue in Washington DC. Fala was a de facto part of the presidential image. He accompanied the president at the Yalta and Quebec conferences during WW2 and a short film was made about his life in the White house.

Adolf Hitler AKA ‘Tiny mustache’ was Chancellor and President of the German Third Reich (1932,1933 - 1945). He had a pet German shepherd named Blondi throughout his reign. This cruel man also seemed to have a soft spot for the dog that he bathed and slept with. Blondi was allowed a last cyanide meal in the Berlin bunker before Adolf shot himself.

Annibale Francesco Clemente Melchiore Girolamo Nicola della Genga AKA ‘Pope Leo XII’ was the leader of the spiritual world for 6 years (1823-1829). His pet cat, ‘Micetto’, practically lived in the Pope’s robes and was present for every papal function. Leo is now dubbed ‘eccentric’ yet I have yet to find a Pope that isn’t. He profoundly confused the finances of the Vatican yet he lived a very frugal reign…presumably, so did the cat.

Alexander II of Macedon AKA ‘the great’ was ruler of a short-lived universal empire (330-323 BC). A legendary and probably false tale recounts the taming of a horse. At the age of ten, Alexander tamed the wild black stallion by realizing it was afraid of its own shadow and thus turned it towards the sun. Bucephalus, as the horse was called, followed the king to the ends of the known world for 20 years.

I think we should pay more attention to how these leaders chose and treat a pet and then rub their noses in it when they assign the words ‘mindless animals’ to the Jews or massacre the Chechen population.

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(Pictured: Socks the presidential cat - Connie the soviet pooch)

End.