Politicians? Flawed? It simply can't be!

Tuesday April 1st 2008 – Finland’s foreign minister, Ilkka Kanerva, has quit after a slew of his text messages were printed in Helsinki. These messages vividly indicated the minister’s fetish for strippers and specifically his affinity for their underwear. That same day, Irish Prime Minister Bertie Ahern resigned after 11 years in power amid confessions that he received bribes from major companies during the 1990s’ Irish economic boom. A few weeks ago, Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick was also exposed by the publication of text messages that showed he was having an affair with a stripper. Unfortunately or ironically, your choice, he testified to the contrary during a police scandal inquiry and thus today he faces 15 years of jail time for perjury and impeding a federal investigation. Finally, last March, New York Governor Eliot Spitzer resigned after it was discovered that he was repeatedly availing himself of the services of a very high-class prostitute (Keeping in mind he was elected on a strict platform of anti-prostitution legislation and crackdowns).

I could easily bash these two-timing hypocrites for their lies, infidelities and perversion of a judicial system they pretend to uphold, yet I will leave them alone because they either got or are going to get what is coming to them. I WILL focus on my favorite target, Al Gore….I mean, mass worldwide media.

Concerning the Spitzer case, the story went around the world in a flash and various impartial commentators from Fox News to Al Jazeera had their self-righteous two-cents to put in. They claim that politicians must be ethically irreproachable, morally flawless and socially minded (Al Jazeera was actually babbling something about Satan or Bush or Virgins…my Arabic is rusty). Once again, the media does not BELIEVE what they are saying; they aim only to scare and to expose these trivial cases in a sea of mediocre and unimportant news that is the beginning of 2008. Don’t kid yourself, the only people that can actually achieve any position of power in the Western world MUST, by definition, be ethically questionable, morally flawed and self-centered. They DO care about the citizens they represent yet this is only to fuel their own massive ego. To back up my claim that the media don’t actually believe what they are printing, I simply refer you to the veritable pornucopia of sexual misconduct and questionable practices that Western World leaders have engaged in over the last century, some of them easily brushing them off to even be reelected.

It would be much too tempting to digress into the atrocities of the fascist of communist dictatorships of Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini, Ceausescu, Pinochet, Stalin, Hoenecker… so I won’t. Instead, let me illustrate some virtuous men that were the elected representatives of supposedly virtuous nations. For the USA, Slick Willy Clinton and his magical cigar (with a side of perjury…and no, it does NOT depend on what my definition of IS is) still fostered the biggest economic boom since the sixties and today, we find the whole Lewinsky thing funny. Richard Nixon finally pulled out of Vietnam after a catastrophic campaign and went on to break several laws at the Watergate Hotel. He is now remembered as a famous Halloween mask. For Great-Britain, one of Prime Minister Lloyd George’s ministers in 1922 was Sir Oswald Mosley, a man who went on to form a British fascist movement whilst vacationing with Hitler in Munich (I couldn’t help myself). In Canada, Prime Minister Jean Chrétien physically assaulted a photographer in front of dozens of witnesses in the late 90s, he was reelected three times!

Canada can help tie up my point. Since the conservatives took power in 2006, they actually have kept their electoral promises. This has been published in every Canadian medium as irregular and shifty since people are definitely not used to this. To this day, Canadian media have been trying to literally find corpses in Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s closet or porn titles on his film rental records or a subscription to fisting monthly... We KNOW our politicians are cunning, clever and two-faced. We get confused when they hide it too well and even disappointed if they are honest. Come on Mr. Harper throw us a bone here, anonymously send us your text messages so that we don’t die of news deprivation.

The media are disgusting, we are disgusting for reading them and our politicians must be equally disgusting if they are to truly represent us.

(Pictured: Richard Nixon, not being a crook - Ex-governor Eliot Spitzer looking like he really regrets it and his wife in the background who is going to make him REALLY regret it.)

End.